Hello there!

What a year, huh?

I am sure most people will agree that the pandemic is HORRIBLE.

It affected each of us in so my ways. A lot of people lost things that they dear the most- loved ones, jobs, money, freedom, time, sanity. While some may not be impacted as much, I am sure they learnt a thing or two during this period.

As for me at this point in life when I am writing this, I am truly feeling grateful. I can see so many silver linings, Alhamdulillah.

Depression

Well, it wasn’t always like this though.

With the ample amount of free (alone) time, I ended up spending most of it with immense thinking. I criticised and analysed every single aspect of my life.

I suddenly came to realisation that for the past 5 years of my life, nothing has changed. Nothing. I had the exact same set of problems, and I didn’t bother to do anything about it.

That was bad. For the past 5 years I was stagnant. I didn’t grow. I didn’t evolve as a person. And I always believe that human beings are supposed to evolve and bloom.

There I was, 30 kg heavier, I didn’t learn any new (non-work) skills and definitely was not healthy mentally and spiritually. I did not even make a single effort for love and relationships. Mind you, I was in my late 20s.

I lived for the past 5 years like a two legged animal- went out, work, eat, got home and sleep. That's it, that was all I cared about.

See, at this point you may think that it was good for me to finally realise this and maybe start to think or how to fix it.

Well, almost. It may be good if at that time I tried to tackle these issues positively and in a more structured manner. Instead, I started to lose myself in spirals of bad thoughts.

From a seed of thought, grew into a field and next thing i know i was in a deep dark forest. Lost and scared.

Absolutely no way out.

Recovery

I finally saw the light though.

I am very proud to say that after 14 sessions of therapy, I have recovered from depression. Took me a lot of time to figure it out and to be honest I have not fully figured it out yet.

But it’s okay. Slow progress is still progress.

Slowly figuring out what I want, slowly making plans (and slowly changing those plans 😑 ), slowly learning new things, slowly changing life values and most importantly, slowly letting go of negativity.

So many things to do, we are talking about all aspects of life here. I do not want to overwhelm myself and go into those thoughts spiral again. We are always a work-in-progress.

This website

So, here I am, on this journey for self betterment.

This website is here to keep track of that journey. I also want to pen down what I have learnt from all these books and classes that I started learning since these past few months.

I believe that by making it public gives a sense of accountability. Life in scrutiny can give a bit of a push- at least that’s what I am hoping for.

Not that I expect people to read me rambling about my life. LOL.

But hey, maybe they can learn a thing or two for their own journey too! And make new connections along the way.

Thanks for stopping by! Sincerely hope that I will not abandon this thing halfway through though. If at any time you dont see me post anything anymore and have been too quiet, please give me a nudge.

Maybe that push can help!

Assalamulaikum.

Love,